Blood_Diver_A

(At Studio Passione, a meeting between the director and the animators) Director: Okay. Thank you for coming on such short notice. I just wanted to discuss some minor changes that I thought would be appropriate. [Animator A and B both nodded their heads and said, “Okay.”] Director [smiling]: Great! Okay. Animator A, you are charge of animating most scenes involving Haruka Koumi, right? Animator A [nodding]: That is correct.Director: Okay. That’s good. [Glancing at his clipboard.] I noticed that her breast sizes were a size ‘D’. I don’t like it, could you increase it to a size ‘F’? Animator A [looking shocked]: What? Why? isn’t that a bit too big? Director: Hm. What do you mean? There’s no such thing as ‘too big’. Only ‘too small’. And, also, add more jiggle physics. Animator A [still stocked]: What? Are you kidding me? But, this character already has a lot of jiggle scenes. Director: I understand. I’m not asking you to add more jiggle scenes, I’m asking you to add more bounce, more jiggle physics, because she’s clumsy and tends to be naked most of the time. I want the animation design to be fluid, polished and smooth. If the viewer will not remember her sweet, kind and gentle personality, then they will remember her nice flowing and bouncing breasts. I want the viewers to be awe by her large bosoms, especially when she's running! Animator A [sighing]: Fine. But, this is going to take a lot of work. Director: That’s fine by me. As, for Animator B, you know what to do? Animator B [nodding]: Of course. Increase the breast size for Aoi Sakurai from size ‘C’ to ‘E’. And add more jiggle physics, because every viewer is watching for beautiful flowing breasts. Director: Exactly! Now, get to work. ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– (A meeting with the director and the script writers) Director: Okay, folks. We don’t have much time. We are losing viewers at the moment and I’ve got an idea to get more viewers, and to make the story more interesting. Writer A: So, what is it? Director: This story has no need for a deep, complex plot. That will turn off the viewer. [He sighs.] It needs to be predicable, it needs to have lots of typical cliches and fanservice, and it needs to have fillers. That's what this anime needs and there are four things that we must do: 1) add a idol episode, 2) make the girls wear lots of swimsuits and bath towels, 3) have the clothes of the girls torn, ripped or wet, and 4) have one nipple scene. With this set-up, everyone will tune in and watch this series. Writer A [hesitating]: But, isn’t this series about trains, kick-ass action, and conspiracies? Director [shrugging]: Well, yeah. To some extent. But, recently idols have been all the rage, and remember you can never go wrong with 'the plot'. Writer A: I guess, however, won’t the viewer be expecting lots of trains and action? Director [sighing]: If I had to put the story in percentages, then 50% is about 'that plot’ and ass, 30% is kick-ass action, 15% is about romantic subplots, and 5% is talking and looking at trains. Look, you must remember, this anime isn't serious or 'deep' and complex, it's just a bunch railway security force members stopping bad guys from doing bad things, with lots of 'plot' action and ass shots. Writer A: Won’t the viewers be disappointed about this? Director: Not really. Because, they’ll be 'watching it for the plot’. It's always the 'plot'! Writer A [sighing]: Okay. If you say so. Director: Oh, I know so. The End

Link_of_Hyrule

**SPOILER FREE REVIEW** What a disgraceful, irredeemable, repulsive piece of trash this anime truly is. This show has thus-far been the most uninspired, lazy, and forgettable pulp I’ve ever had the misfortune of sitting through. Not a single OUNCE of effort was put into this butchering of a somewhat promising and unique concept, and while the show thinks it can distract the audience from its laughable “plot” (if you can even call it that) and its worthless, pathetic, cardboard-cutout characters with absurdly excessive fanservice, they aren’t fooling me. It's unbelievably stupid, it's misogynistic, it's cliche, it's rushed, it's... Y'know what? Let’s just go ahead and delveinto what is likely hands-down the worst anime of the season, Rail Wars. Synopsis: Four teenagers begin working for a railway station. Hijinks ensue. … That is literally it. The synopsis of Rail Wars on MAL is extremely misleading mostly because it implies that this show has a plot: It doesn’t. There is NO exposition. I’m not exaggerating; there is none what so ever at any point. This show is literally a montage of random, unrelated incidents that the protagonists have to fix and/or get themselves out of. There is no coherency or consistency to be found (unless you count constant fanservice as “consistency"). This is a show that tries to pass itself off as “mindless entertainment”. There’s one problem though: It’s not entertaining! The writers have no idea how to give the random scenarios they come up with any suspense at all! There are no action scenes what so ever (excluding 10 seconds in episode 1), there is no reason to care about the generic characters, and there is simply no energy or excitement to be found. You can literally feel how rushed and passionless the development of the anime really was. In fact, they make an effort to AVOID fast paced and exciting scenes! In episode 3, this show has the audacity to make us sit through some of the most boring and pointless dialogue I’ve ever seen as it builds up to what was shaping up to be a good fight scene (albeit the buildup is painfully slow). Just as the fight was about to start, the shot becomes a still frame and we cut to after the fight is already over. If that doesn’t prove that the animators don’t give a shit, then I don’t know what will; what an absolute slap in the face. Perhaps the biggest joke of all is that some of these episodic scenarios aren’t even related to trains! I mean… really?! This show was advertised as some sort of action-shounen based around railways, which could have been cool, but all we got was random fanservice and nothing to hold it together. In fact, there is literally no reason for this story to be related to trains at all; whether it’s diffusing a bomb or stopping a dangerous intruder at a music concert, literally any other setting would have worked just as bloody well. The “writers” (if this garbage can legally be considered writing) just jotted down as many generic scenarios as they could think of and made each episode consist of a one of those scenarios. I could have written this show at the age of 8. It really is that stupid, random, and simplistic. Not ONE thing about the show’s “plot” was done even remotely right. It is a complete, unbridled disaster. The characters are just the icing on the cake to this amazingly repugnant arrangement. The only thing I can say about them is that they fucking exist (unlike the plot). The MC doesn’t have a spec, and I mean not a SPEC of originality to him. The driving force of the "plot" is that he wants to be a train conductor. Too bad I don't know a goddamn thing about him and therefore I don't care what the hell happens to him. The MC’s harem is just as generic as he is; there’s one red headed chick who sort of has a personality, but it’s completely stereotypical. I guess having a generic personality is better than not having one at all, which is the case with the rest of the cast. Rail Wars left me scrambling so hard to find positive aspects that a 2-dimesional character is considered a highlight of the show. I think that says it all right there. In conclusion, Rail Wars is a disgrace. They took a unique concept with potential and loaded it with clichés through the addition of highschoolers and a big-breasted harem. Throw in the absurd writing and piss-poor choice of direction and you have yourself, dare I say, a trainwreck! *Pause for laughter at obvious joke that I didn’t have the willpower to resist making… This is just a humiliation to the anime industry and to fiction in general. Everyone responsible for this monstrosity should be ashamed of themselves, because I’m certainly ashamed. I cannot fathom a single, solitary reason for ANYONE to EVER watch this show. It’s not good for action, it’s not good for comedy, it’s not good for mindless entertainment, it’s not good for ANYTHING. Other than fanservice, this show has nothing to offer (and you could pick thousands of other superior anime if you really want fanservice). The music is decent I suppose, and that is the only thing that separates Rail Wars from a 1/10. Needless to say, I not only wouldn’t recommend this garbage to anyone, but I also wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It is honestly the most worthless and contemptible anime I’ve ever seen.