lawlmartz

Okay, imagine for a minute that Nintendo licensed Mario out to someone who just horribly, horribly abused it, created the schlockiest, most garbage product with it, and what do you call it? No, it's not the Philips CD-I It's the long forgotten, defective cousin AniMario! I don't think Shigeru Miyamoto knew about this one. If he did, I think he would have died of shame before Mario ever made it to the 90s. We've got three OVAs here, which are Japanese rips of fairy tales. The second one is Thumbelina, the last one is Snow White, and I have no freaking clue what the first one was supposed tobe. We'll call it Schlocklestiltskin. In Schlocklestiltskin, Princess Peach is born to... Koopa Troopa grandparents, and is abducted by Bowser, who is king of the intergalactic space jewelry pirates. Standard fare right? Let's take a turn for the stupid: Mario then comes crashing down to the planet inside of a comet made out of a giant peach as a baby, mustache intact, and raised by the same Koopas... On the same day that they decide to tell him about Princess Peach, guess who shows up? Well, Mario is given a machine gun that looks like an M2 Flamethrower, befriends a flying red shell, a hammer bro, and some weird character that has never been in Mario, and they head to gang up on Bowser... Bowser apparently also lives in Scrooge McDuck's gold pool dungeon. Stupid factor: 6/10 Next up, Dumbelina RPG Lite. Mario is inexplicably, and variably, a microscopic to waist size plumber who flies around in a rocket powered coconut boat, fighting with a hilted needle. I can't make this stuff up. He manages to slice off Bowser's 4-6" horns with his 1" needle in one fell swoop, the former of whom then runs away, because big scary! Because no good RPG is any fun without a loot system, Bowser drops a +1 Magic Mallet, which grants any wish! Instead of using it to, you know, solve world hunger, or stop the intergalactic tyranny of the space pirates, he chooses to use it on himself so that he can have a child sized body and be with Princess Peach. What an ASS! Supid factor: 8/10 As if the stupid couldn't get any worse, the last is probably the most egregious of the three. Bowser shows up again, but this time in DRAG! He's decided to quit being oppressed by the patriarchy and become QUEEN KOOPA! He gets pissed off that the mirror upholds society's male dominated view of beauty and is told that Princess Peach is more beautiful than he is, so he sets out to do what any rational cross dressing lizard king would do- send his goons to kill her, because jealousy is a pretty trait. Naturally, they fail, but not before Toad is able to clone himself into 7 child versions of himself, (fulfilling that Snow White, yall), and Princess Peach is left to cook and clean for them. Queen Dipshit shows up again, but this time he means business! Wielding a kitchen knife, he threatens to cut off Peach's nose, because then she'll never be beautiful! Cue the deus ex machina, and Luigi shows up, bludgeons the poor oppressed Queen Jealousy to death, and Mario and he throw Bowser through the Patriarchy Mirror, the end. Stupid factor: ∞/10 Upon writing out this carnival of failure, I've re-rated this a 2. The art looks like what would happen if you emptied out a sewage filter on some paper, crumpled it, and then lit it on fire. The sound isn't really that bad, the voice acting is appropriately flat and terrible, and they make use of some licensed, groovy high 80s synth, including The Art of Noise's "Snapshot", who ripped off The Who's "Baba O'Riley". This is indicative of the anime as a whole: an 80s ripoff of a classic. I enjoyed the few brief seconds of relief when I wasn't trying to destroy my frontal bone with a hammer. Verdict: Burn it with fire.

Retro8bit

What, there is actually a Super Mario Anime?? Yeah that was pretty much my thoughts when I found out, in fact there a few versions of it.......plus a movie! This review however, will be regarding the title: "Amada Anime Series: Super Mario." (which come as three 13 minute OVAs) Story: 4/10 Well it certainly doesn't stay linear that's for sure, basically all three OVAs tell a different style of story, two of which show different origins of Mario himself. (one as a Tom thumb character, the other has him born from a peach in space) These stories play out more like a wacky fairytale than anything else.While Princess Peach and Mario do face off against Bowser in ever episode, its done untrue to the video game before it, which may bum out some fans of the game. We only get backstory and depth on Mario himself really, and never on anyone else (which is okay, since this is quite a short series). Most of the time it seems like they just happen to be walking along when they discover Mario. The plots can be childish, cheesy and predictable overall, yet it never really ceases to keep you entertained the whole way through, since the gang is always in a different situation with the story. I can't say whether you will like the exaggeration to it or not, but it certainly isn't the worst I have personally seen. Artwork: 8/10 Truly the best part of the series, while the animation can be quite stiff at times, the characters themselves are drawn exactly like they should be (perhaps even more so than the American cartoon), all complimented with bright colorful artwork that really will make you feel like your in the videogame itself. It should be said though that this title was made in 1988, so it definitely shows its age when compared to today's stuff. Soundtrack: 5/10 Most will probably feel its the worst feature, as it is overall nothing more than generic sounding 80's elevator style music, none of which is from the video game itself, which was kind of a bummer to say the least, and will most likely come off as boring. Not to mention there is no opening theme, only a closing one; which again comes off only as an instrumental piece. The character voices are decent though, I really liked Peach's soft lighthearted voice, and Mario sounded appropriate as well with his teenager style voice. Though Bowser had this higher pitched voice which came off as down right silly! Characters: 6/10 Mario, Princess Peach, Bowser, the Koopa kids, most of the main side villains and even Luigi himself make an appearance in this. Their good for the most part, each one keeps their personality to a point from the show, yet add their own style of wackiness to the mix (this is especially true with Mario and Bowser). Mario's personalty was a bit lackluster though, he didn't really give off any kind of distinctness to him. Most of the time he would just keep a strait face, or a more angry one when Peach was being threatened. Overall though, they did a decent job of trying to recreate the game in a Japanese style way, even if it does come off as exaggerated! Bottom Line: 5/10 Amada Anime Series: Super Mario does suffer from being cheesy, silly and childish, which might turn away most viewers. Had they stuck more true to the story of the video game and not the fairytale stuff, I think it would have been a lot better! At the same time its still one of those titles you can't help but find interesting. Certainly won't be everyone's cup of tea, but it does do an okay job of keeping you entertained for one viewing. I recommend it to the big Mario/Nintendo fans out there, or to those who are young at heart! Not a bad series pre-say, it just doesn't do anything in a particularly memorable way, yet since it was never released outside of Japan, it can at least be considered an interesting find.